Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Under the stars

The days are busy in Haiti, noise is everywhere you go, some sounds are sweet sounds, like the sweet voices of nannies singing early morning prayers to God when I'm still in slumber. Beeping of car and motorcycle horns, the loud animal sounds day and night, people shopping and bartering on the streets, radios/music playing loudly, kids playing late when I think they should be sleeping!, religious ceremonies into the early morning hours. Haitians like their horns and use them at every moment they can. People here talk and communicate with deep passion, it always looks like a argument to me! When the day is done, for me that is, the stars are so beautiful, clear and peaceful. The stars shine so bright here in Haiti, I am amazed at God's creation and the beauty that He has given us to enjoy.........I always wonder if other Haitians see the same when I look up at night sky, it's breathtaking.

People who know me well, know that I don't like loud noises or bright lights! There is something about the evenings that I love, all is quiet the house is sometimes clean, my girls are bathed and sleeping and I feel peace, it's "my time". I wonder at times if I could possibly live in Haiti if I had too? Where would one go if they needed that "peace" that I so crave? This past Sunday while in Port au Prince I was thinking about the people living in the tents with the heat, dust, noises and thinking, where would a Mama go if she just wanted to sit quietly with her babies? I have a luxury in the States to sit in any of the rooms in my house and choose a "quiet" place to hold one of my girls, talk with them or just hold them and listen to their hearts.........no loud horns beeping, dirt flying around, neighbors watching me, or wearing dirty clothes that have not seen a washing machine ever! This week I have very aware of my surroundings, the places that God has stretched me, my weaknesses and my heart. I have had wonderful moments that I wouldn't trade and moments that my heart has been so heavy that I've cried. I wish that I could pack up all the Children that I have held, loved and cried over and bring them home on Thursday with me........Lucy is one of them! It's so hard to say goodbye to my child that I know has to wait, wait and not know the next time she will see me, her Mama. I want to tell her that she will one day be home in a peaceful home, have quiet times where I can sit with her in her bedroom on a rocking chair and listen to her heart, just like I do with Lilly, Catherine and Grace. At night she will have routine, cuddle times, and security of a Mommy and Daddy that will love her forever and kiss her goodnight. Even as I write this blog I am sat in a internet "cafe" AKA: some guys garage, it's so loud with a generator to keep our internet going, but this I am thankful.

I am grateful for this amazing week even with the sweat, dirt, dust and noise, I am thankful for my dear husband that has allowed me to be here while he is in charge back home - one day we will be here together to collect our little girl and bring her home.

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